1) Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid
bowlers. However, all the league records were unfortunately destroyed
in a fire. Thus we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.

2) A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I
think I'm shrinking!!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle
down. You'll just have to be a little patient."

3) A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered
dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet
of seagulls. One day his supply of the birds ran out, so he had
to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two
lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly
stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged
with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.