*Mother's Flu*

(Notes pinned to the pillow of a mother who has the flu by her meaning
husband.)

Monday A.M.
Dearest: Sleep late. Everything under control. Lunches packed. Kids
off to school. Menu for dinner planned. Your lunch is on a tray in
refrigerator: fruit cup, finger-sandwiches. Thermos of hot tea by
bedside. See you around six.

Tuesday A.M.
Honey: Sorry about the egg rack in the refrigerator.
Hope you got back to sleep. Did the kids tell you about the Coke I put
in the Thermoses? The school might call you on this. Dinner may be a
little late. I'm doing your door-to-door canvas for liver research.
Your lunch is in refrigerator. Hope you like leftover chili.

Wednesday A.M.
Dear Doris: Why in the name of all that is sane would you put soap
powder in the flour canister! If you have time, could you please come
up with a likely spot for Chris's missing shoes? We've checked the
clothes hamper, garage, back seat of the car and wood box. Did you know
the school has a ruling on bedroom slippers? There's some cold pizza
for you on a napkin in the oven drawer. Will be late tonight. Driving
eight Girl Scouts to tour meatpacking house.

Thursday A.M.
Doris: Don't panic over water in hallway. It crested last night at 9
P.M. Will finish laundry tonight. Please pencil in answers to
following:
1. How do you turn on the garbage disposal?
2. Why would that rotten kid leave his shoes in his boots?
3. How do you remove a Confederate flag inked on the palm of a small
boy's hand?
4. What do you do with leftovers when they begin to snap at you when
you open the door? I don't know what you're having for lunch! Surprise
me!

Friday A.M.
Hey: Don't drink from pitcher by the sink. Am trying to restore pink
dress shirt to original white. Take heart. Tonight, the ironing will
be folded, the house cleaned and the dinner on time. I called your
mother.


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