How agri-corporations around the world would treat their cows.

NORTH AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and
force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised
when the cow drops dead.

FRENCH: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three
cows.

JAPANESE: You have two cows. You redesign them to 1/10 the size
of ordinary cows, producing 20 times the milk. You then create
clever cow cartoons called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.

GERMAN: You have two cows, re-engineered so they'll live for 100
years, eat once a month and milk themselves.

BRITISH: You have two cows. Both are mad.

RUSSIAN: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five
cows. You count them again and learn you have 42. You count them
again and learn you have 12. You stop counting cows and open another
bottle of vodka.

SWISS: You have 5,000 cows. None belongs to you. You charge others
for storing them.

HINDU: You have two cows. You worship them.

CHINESE: You have two cows and 300 people milking them. You claim
full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest the newsman
who questions the numbers.