I was out walking with my then 4 year old daughter. She picked up
something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth.
I asked her not to do that. "Why?" "Because it's been laying outside
and is dirty and probably has germs."

At this point, she looked at me with total admiration and asked,
"Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"

"Uh," I was thinking quickly," everyone knows this stuff. Um, it's on

the Mommy test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a
Mommy.
"Oh."
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently

Q: What do you put in a toaster?
*
*
*
*
A: The answer is bread. If you said "toast," then give up
now and go do something else before you hurt yourself. If
you said "bread", go to the next question.

***

Q: Say "silk" five times. Now, spell "silk." What do cows
drink?
*
*
*
*
A: Cows drink water. If you said "milk", please do not
attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over-
stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need
to content yourself with reading something more appropriate

Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and
put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave
them alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end
of that time, go back and see what they are doing.

If they have taken the table apart,
put them in Engineering.

If they are counting the butts in the ashtray,
assign them to Finance.

If they are waving their arms and talking out loud,
send them to Consulting.

If they are talking to the chairs,
Personnel is a good spot for them.

Little Johnny stared at his test paper. The big read "F" stared back
at him.

Freddie looked at his glum friend and asked, "Why did you get such a
low grade on that test?"

"Because of an absence," Johnny answered.

"You mean you were absent on the day of the test?" he questioned.

Little Johnny replied, "No, but the kid who sits next to me was."

Ever wondered which cartoon character you are most like? Well, a team
of researchers got together and analyzed the personalities of cartoon
characters, and put the information gathered into this quiz. Answer
each question with the answer that most describes you, then add up the
points that correspond with your answer. Then send this to all your
friends including the person who sent it to you with your cartoon
character in the subject line.

1) What describes your perfect date?
a) Candlelight dinner for two
b) Amusement Park
c) Rollerblading in the park

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He
handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait
Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in.
The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a
$100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The
next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student
got back his test and $64 change.