HELL EXPLAINED
BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane's windshield at approximately the speed the plane flies.

The theory is that if the windshield doesn't crack from the carcass impact, it'll survive a real collision with a bird during flight. It seems the British were very interested in this and wanted to test a windshield on a brand new, speedy locomotive they're developing.

It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane's windshield at approximately the speed the plane flies.The theory is that if the windshield doesn't crack from the carcass impact, it'll survive a real collision with a bird during flight. It seems the British were very interested in this and wanted to test a windshield on a brand new, speedy locomotive they're developing.They borrowed the FAA's chicken launcher, loaded the chicken and fired.

It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test.

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non loss of intelligence.

Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.

OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.

1. What do you put in a toaster?

(only a man would do this)
(Gals - you have got to read the whole thing if you can keep the tears out of your eyes)

Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd Anniversary, and I was looking for a little something "extra" for my wife.

A psychology student was to help a professor in conducting a personality
test. The room was set up with various props in order to move through
the assessment quickly. The first person to enter the room started
through the test.

"How does this glass of water look to you?"
Person 1: It is half empty.
Student writes 'pessimist' in his report.

Person 2 enters the room. "How does this glass of water look to you?"

Person 2: It is half full.
Student writes 'optimist' in his report.

Person 3 enters the room. "How does this glass of water look to you?"

(1) How can you arrange for two people to stand on the same piece of
newspaper and yet be unble to touch each other without stepping off
the newspaper.

(2) How many 3-cent stamps are there in a dozen?

(3) A rope ladder hangs over the side of a ship. The rungs are one foot
apart and the ladder is 12 feet long. The tide is rising at four inches
an hour. How long will it take before the first four rungs of the ladder
are underwater?

(4) Which would you rather have, a gallon jar full of nickels or a gallon
jar half full of dimes?

Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping.
Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other
ear, do not go into the woods alone.

A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.

A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent
hockey puck.

You can start a fire without matches by eating Mexican food,
then breathing on a pile of dry sticks.

In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by
shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic
waistband of your underwear.

I was out walking with my then 4 year old daughter. She picked up
something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth.
I asked her not to do that. "Why?" "Because it's been laying outside
and is dirty and probably has germs."

At this point, she looked at me with total admiration and asked,
"Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"

"Uh," I was thinking quickly," everyone knows this stuff. Um, it's on

the Mommy test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a
Mommy.
"Oh."
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently

Q: What do you put in a toaster?
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*
*
A: The answer is bread. If you said "toast," then give up
now and go do something else before you hurt yourself. If
you said "bread", go to the next question.

***

Q: Say "silk" five times. Now, spell "silk." What do cows
drink?
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*
A: Cows drink water. If you said "milk", please do not
attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over-
stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need
to content yourself with reading something more appropriate