A college dean was berating a veteran economics professor for having
used the same tests for the past 35 years.

"Don't you realize, professor, that the students have been sharing these
tests for decades and that all of your students know EXACTLY what's on
the test before they sit for it?"

"Doesn't matter," replied the professor. "You must realize that the
subject is economics. The answers are different each year!"

~ You believe the staff room should have a Valium salt lick.

~ You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to have all
your holidays and summers free."

~ You can tell it's a full moon without ever looking outside.

~ You believe that unspeakable evil will befall you if anyone says,
"Boy, the kids are sure mellow today."

~ When out in public, you feel the urge to talk to strange children
and correct their behavior.

~ Marking all A's on the report card would make your life SO much
simpler.

~ You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.

A blonde teacher was giving a lesson on blood circulation... Trying
to make the matter clear, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my
head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn
red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright the blood doesn't
run into my feet?"

The answer came from the back of the class, "Cause your feet ain't
empty."

On the last day of kindergarten, the
children brought presents for their
teacher.

The florist's son gave her a box. She
shook it, held it up, and said, "I bet
I know what it is. Is it flowers?"

"That s right!" said the boy.

Then the candy store owner's son gave her
his package. She shook it, held it up, and
said, "I bet I know what it is. Is it a
box of candy?"

"That's right!" said the boy.

Next the liquor store owner's son handed
her his box.

She shook it, held it up, and noticed that it

There was a university in New England where the students operated
a "bank" of term papers and other homework assignments. There were
papers to suit all needs. Since it would look odd if an undistinguished
student suddenly handed in a brilliant essay, there were papers for
an A grade, B grade, and C grade.

One student, who had spent the weekend on more "extra-curricular
pursuits," went to the bank, and as his course was a standard one he
took out a paper for a inconspicuous C. He then retyped it and handed
the work in.

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade
class. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up
on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the
boys in the class.
She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Bobby?"
"Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters."
"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for
three days!"

The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten
to title the assignment, she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard.

When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic
violation said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from
the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to
appear before this court," he smiled with delight. "Now sit
down at that table and write 'I will not pass through a red light'
five hundred times."

A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school.