Late one Friday night the policeman spotted
a man driving very erratically through the
streets of Dublin. They pulled the man over
and asked him if he had been drinking that
evening.

"Aye, so I have. 'Tis Friday, you know, so
me and the lads stopped by the pub where I
had six or seven pints. And then there was
something called "Happy Hour" and they served
these mar-gar-itos which are quite good. I
had four or five o' those. Then I had to
drive me friend Mike home and O' course I
had to go in for a couple of Guiness;
couldn't be rude, ye know. Then I stopped

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that
morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: This myasthenia gravis - does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: All your responses must be oral, okay? What school did you go to?

Panting and sweating, two men on a tandem
bicycle finally made it to the top of a
steep hill.

"That was a tough climb," said the front rider.

"Sure was," replied the second. "And if I
hadn't kept the brake on, we would have slid
down backward."

Years ago, some bank robbers in Montreal
committed the deed, then turned their car
around to go home. Trouble was they backed
the car into a snow bank and left a perfect
imprint of their license number. Cops met
them at home.

We hope he followed his mother's advice and made sure he
didn't leave home with dirty underwear.

Bonehead award six goes to a man in Laurel, Mississippi who
held up a convenience store at gunpoint while wearing a pair
of underwear on his head to hide his identity.

In August 1975 three men were on their way in to rob the Royal Bank
of Scotland at Rothesay, when they got stuck in the revolving doors.
They had to be helped free by the staff and, after thanking everyone,
sheepishly left the building. A few minutes later they returned and
announced their intention of robbing the bank, but none of the staff
believed them. When they demanded 5,000 pounds in cash, the
head cashier laughed at them, convinced that it was a practical joke.
Then one of the men jumped over the counter, but fell to the floor

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus,
and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops.
A few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.
At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet
eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He
glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down
at the back. Did I mention that the driver was five three, thin,
and basically meek? Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but
he wasn't happy about it.