There was a university in New England where the students operated
a "bank" of term papers and other homework assignments. There were
papers to suit all needs. Since it would look odd if an undistinguished
student suddenly handed in a brilliant essay, there were papers for
an A grade, B grade, and C grade.

One student, who had spent the weekend on more "extra-curricular
pursuits," went to the bank, and as his course was a standard one he
took out a paper for a inconspicuous C. He then retyped it and handed
the work in.

A professor stood before his class of twenty senior organic biology
students, about to hand out the final exam.

"I want to say that it's been a pleasure teaching you this semester.
I know you've all worked extremely hard and many of you are off to
medical school after summer. So that no one gets their GPA messed up
because they might have been celebrating a bit too much this week,
anyone who would like to opt out of the final exam today will receive
a 'B' for the course."

There was much rejoicing in the class as students got up, walked to the

In a physics lab, which involved light, electricity
and magnetism, one requirement of the course
was to read the week's experiment before coming
to class. At one lab session the instructor wanted
to see how many people had actually done so.

"What are the two types of light?" he asked. The
lab fell quiet until one wise guy raised his hand
and said, "Uhhh, Miller and Coors?"