TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
SAMMY: You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.

TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
JOSE: Don't bite any.

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

An Engineering Student, a Physics Student, and a
Mathematics student were each given $150 dollars
and were told to use that money to find out exactly
how tall a particular hotel was.

All three ran off, extremely keen on how to do this.
The physics student went out, purchased some
stopwatches, a number of ball bearings, a calculator,
and some friends. He had them all time the drop of
ball bearings from the roof, and he then figured out
the height from the time it took for the bearings to
accelerate from rest until they impacted with the
sidewalk.

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He
handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait
Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in.
The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a
$100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The
next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student
got back his test and $64 change.