A preacher was winding up his temperance
sermon with great fervor. "If I had
all the beer in the world, I'd take it
and throw it into the river."

The congregation cried, "Amen!"

"And if I had all the wine in the world,
I'd take it and throw it in the river."

The congregation cried, "Amen!"

"And if I had all the whiskey and demon
rum in the world, I'd take it all and
throw it in the river."

And the congregation cried, "Amen!"

The preacher sat down.

The deacon stood up. "For our closing
hymn," he announced, "let us turn to

Not too long ago a large seminar was held for ministers in
training.

Among the speakers were many well known motivational speakers.
One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire
crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in
the arms of a woman that wasn't my wife!"

The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, "And that woman
was my mother!" - The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his
speech which, went over well.

About a week later one of the ministers who had attended the