A blonde teacher was giving a lesson on blood circulation... Trying
to make the matter clear, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my
head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn
red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright the blood doesn't
run into my feet?"

The answer came from the back of the class, "Cause your feet ain't
empty."

Mr. Jones, the elementary school principal,
made it to a practice to visit the classes from
time to time. One day a week, he walked into Miss
Smith's 4th grade class, where the children were
studying American History. Mr. Jones asked
the class how many states they could name. They came
up with about 40 names. He jokingly told them that
in his day students knew the names of all the states.

From the back of the room Little Johnny yelled, "Yes,
but in those days there were only 13!"

Little Johnny stared at his test paper. The big read "F" stared back
at him.

Freddie looked at his glum friend and asked, "Why did you get such a
low grade on that test?"

"Because of an absence," Johnny answered.

"You mean you were absent on the day of the test?" he questioned.

Little Johnny replied, "No, but the kid who sits next to me was."

In a physics lab, which involved light, electricity
and magnetism, one requirement of the course
was to read the week's experiment before coming
to class. At one lab session the instructor wanted
to see how many people had actually done so.

"What are the two types of light?" he asked. The
lab fell quiet until one wise guy raised his hand
and said, "Uhhh, Miller and Coors?"

A young female teacher was giving an assignment to her 6th grade
class. It was a large assignment so she started writing high up
on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the
boys in the class.
She quickly turned and asked, "What's so funny Bobby?"
"Well teacher, I just saw one of your garters."
"Get out of my classroom," she yells, "I don't want to see you for
three days!"

The teacher turns back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten
to title the assignment, she reaches to the very top of the chalkboard.

It was the beginning of term at a primary school in Brooklyn.
The teacher asked the children their names one at a time, and
for each to spell their name out loud. When she came to a young
boy and asked his name.....

"Ravashanka Vankatarataam Bannerjee" he replied.

"How do you spell that? asked the teacher.

"My mother helps me" said the little boy.

Mother: "Why are you home from school so early?"
son: "I was the only one who could answer a question."
Mother: "Oh, really? What was the question?"
Son: "Who threw the eraser at the principal?"

A teacher asked one of her pupils, "Can you name our nation's
capital?"

The reply was, "Washington DC."

When asked what "DC" stood for, the pupil added, "Dot com!"

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He
handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait
Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in.
The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a
$100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The
next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student
got back his test and $64 change.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said
it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because, even
though they were very large mammals, their throat was very small. The
little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher
reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The
teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied,
"Then you ask him."