A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
As he sits, the waitress comes over and asks for their orders.

The man says, "I'll have a hamburger, fries and a coke,"
and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"

"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order.
"That will be $6.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and
pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says,
have a hamburger, fries and a coke," and the ostrich says, "I'll

A unpolished looking gentleman walks into a fancy French
restaurant. The maitre d, wanting to get rid of a potential trou-
blemaker says, "Sir, you can't come in here without a tie." The
guy argues, but the maitre d is firm.

So the guy goes out to his car, can't find a tie, but locates a pair
of jumper cables in the trunk. He wraps them around his neck
and walks back into the restaurant.

The maitre d looks at him and reluctantly says, "OK, you can
come in, but don't start anything."