Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man
he meets, "Do you want to go to Heaven?"
The man said, "I do Father."

The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to got to Heaven?"

"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.

"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go
to Heaven?"

O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."

The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when

A priest asks a nun if he can walk her back to the convent.
She says, "Just this once."

Upon arriving, he asks if he can kiss her.

She replies, "Well, alright, as long as you don't get into
the habit."

Not too long ago a large seminar was held for ministers in
training.

Among the speakers were many well known motivational speakers.
One such boldly approached the pulpit and, gathering the entire
crowd's attention, said, "The best years of my life were spent in
the arms of a woman that wasn't my wife!"

The crowd was shocked! He followed up by saying, "And that woman
was my mother!" - The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his
speech which, went over well.

About a week later one of the ministers who had attended the

Father Murphy was playing golf with a parishioner. On the first hole,
he sliced into the rough. His opponent heard him mutter "Hoover!"
under his breath.

On the second hole, the ball went straight into a water hazard.
"Hoover!" again, a little louder this time.

On the third hole, a miracle occurred and Fr. Murphy's drive landed on

the green only six inches from the hole!

"Praise be to God!"

He carefully lined up the putt, but the ball curved around the hole
instead of going in.

"HOOVER!!!!" By this time, his opponent couldn't withhold his

After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing
his clerical collar, visited his wife in the hospital. He
greeted her with a hug and a kiss, and gave her another hug
and kiss when he left. Later, the wife's roommate commented:
"Your pastor is sure friendlier than mine."

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a
small boy tying to press a doorbell on a house across the street.
However, the doorbell is just out of his reace.

After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves
closer to the boy's position. He steps smartly across the street,
walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly
on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a ring.

Crouching down to the child's level, the priest smiles benevo-
lently and asks, "And now what, my little man?"