1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the
country, and who are very good at crosswords.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country
but don't really understand the Washington Post. They do, however, like
their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the

Saddam Hussein and George W. Bush meet up in Baghdad for the first round of
talks in a new peace process. When George sits down, he notices three buttons on
the side of Saddam's chair. They begin talking. After about five minutes Saddam
presses the First button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and
punches Bush in the face.

Confused, Bush carries on talking as Saddam laughs. A few minutes later
the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in
the shin. Again Saddam laughs, and again Bush carries on talking, not wanting to

How come we choose from just two people for president and 50
for Miss America?