A policeman was patrolling near midnight at a local parking
spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw
a couple inside with the dome light on. Inside there was a
young man in the driver's seat reading a computer magazine
and a young lady in the back seat calmly knitting.

He stopped to investigate. He walked up to the driver's
window and knocked. The young man looked up, obligingly
cranked the window down, and said, "Yes, Officer?"

"What are you doing?" the policeman asked.

"I'm reading this magazine," answered the young man.

A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says
here that you should be wearing glasses."
The woman answered "Well, I have contacts."

The policeman replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"

An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from
the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all
over the road. A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver,
"where have ya been?"
"Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink
this evening."
"I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms
across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out
of your car?"