**Our experienced mother will care for your child. Fenced
yards, meals and smacks included.

**Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing
to travel.

**Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting off head illusion.

**We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it
carefully by hand.

**For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

**Wanted: hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.

**Wanted: man to take care of cow that does not smoke or
drink.

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the
country, and who are very good at crosswords.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country
but don't really understand the Washington Post. They do, however, like
their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the