Barry who is noted for his tact was awakened one morning at four o'clock by
his ringing telephone.

"Your dog's barking, and it's keeping me awake," said an irate voice.

The man thanked the caller and politely asked his name before hanging up.
...
The next morning at four o'clock, Barry called back his neighbor.

"Sir," he said, "I don't have a dog."

A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens
fenced in. The neighbor kept talking about chickens being God's
creatures, and as such they had the right to go where they wanted.

The man was having no luck keeping the chickens out of his flower
beds, and he had tried everything. Two weeks later, on a visit I
noticed his flower beds were doing great. The flowers were beginning
to bloom.

So I asked him how he managed to keep the birds away. "How did you
make your neighbor keep his hens in his own yard?"

SHORTLY AFTER my husband and I settled in a rural part of Florida, a
neighboring farmer gave us a piglet. Thrilled, we named our new pet
Peggy and taught her several tricks. A few weeks later we asked the
farmer to take Peggy while we were on vacation. We left her happily
playing with the other piglets, but when we returned, we realized all
piglets look alike. We didn't think we'd be able to pick out Peggy. Then
my husband yelled, "Sit!" And one little pig sat down.

-- Contributed to Reader's Digest "Life In These United States" by
Susan Horn

Two little children, a boy and a girl, walked hand-in-hand to a
neighbor's house. The little girl stood on her tiptoes and
just able to reach the doorbell. Then, an elderly lady greeted
them at the front door.

"Good morning, children," she said. "What can I do for you?"

"We're playing house," the little girl answered. "This is my hus-
band and I'm his wife. Can we come in?"

Thoroughly enchanted by the scene, the elderly lady replied,
"By all means, do come in."

Once inside, she offered the children lemonade and cookies,