The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:
Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their
stories. "Johnny, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes, ma'am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Carol. Aunt
Carol was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to
bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of
whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't fall into enemy

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and
informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs.

The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as
well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is
old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully
tells the son he is proud of him. Dad orders up the biggest, strongest
drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and
the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first
sip of alcohol.