Two brawny men came to my house to install some new floor covering
in the kitchen. Once they had moved the stove and refrigerator out
of the way, it was not long before the job was done.

As they were getting ready to leave, I asked them to put the heavy
appliances back in place.

The two men demanded $45 for this service, stating it was not in
their contract.

I really had no choice but to pay them. As soon as they left, however,
the doorbell rang. It was the two men. They asked me to move my car,
which was blocking their van.

I told them my fee: $45.

"When a man spends his own money to buy something for himself, he is
very careful about how much he spends and how he spends it. When a
man spends his own money to buy something for someone else, he is
still very careful about how much he spends, but somewhat less what
he spends it on. When a man spends someone else's money to buy
something for himself, he is very careful about what he buys, but
doesn't care at all how much he spends. And when a man spends someone
else's money on someone else, he doesn't care how much he spends or

An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married and
settled down in their old neighborhood and are celebrating their
sixtieth wedding anniversary. They walk down the street to their
old school.

There, they hold hands as they find the old desk they'd shared
and where he had carved "I love you,Sally."

On their way back home, a bag of money falls out of an armored
car practically at their feet. She quickly picks it up, but they
don't know what to do with it so they take it home. There, she
counts the money, and it's fifty-thousand dollars. The husband

A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness
was determined to prove wrong the saying, "You can't take it with you."
After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance chaser finally
figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he
died. He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough
money to fill two pillowcases. He then directed her to take the bags
of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. His plan:
When he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way
to Heaven.

A banker is someone who lends you an umbrella when the sun is
shining, and who asks for it back when it start to rain.