The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and
his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display
skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my
seat.

I hadn't considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the
stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked
across and explained, "I'm delivering him to my doctor's office."

The other driver leaned out of his window. "I hate to tell you, lady,"
he said, "but I think it's too late!"-

My son Mark was only 5 feet, 8 inches tall when he left for college
in the fall. He worked through the Christmas holidays and didn't
return home again until the February break.

When he got off the plane, I was stunned at how much taller he looked.
Measuring him at home, I discovered he now stood at 5 feet, 11 inches.
My son was as surprised as I. "Couldn't you tell by your clothes that
you'd grown?" I asked him.

"Since I've been doing my own laundry," he replied, "I just figured
everything had shrunk."

At a business conference in Montpelier, Vermont, the state tax
commissioner asked the audience which sort of taxation they found
fairest. There was a pause, and then a white-haired man in the
back raised his hand. "The poll tax," he said.

"But the poll tax was repealed," replied the commissioner.
"Ay-ah," declared the man, "that's what I like about it."

While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage.

The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because
attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign .....

Energy efficient vehicle.
Runs on oats and grass.
Caution: Do not step on exhaust.

While waiting in line at the bank, a co-worker developed a very loud
case of hiccups. By the time he reached the teller's window, the
hiccups seemed to have worsened. The teller took my friend's check
and proceeded to run a computer verification of his account. After
a minute she looked up from her terminal with a frown and said that
she would be unable to cash his check.

"Why not?" my friend asked incredulously.

"I'm sorry, sir," she replied, "but our computer indicates that you
do not have sufficient funds to cover this amount. As a matter of

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the
in-flight "safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit
more entertaining.

Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant
crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached
cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights.
This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your
flight attendants."

*****************************

On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of

The District Judge in our county is a no-nonsense woman who has
never left any doubt as to her professionalism. What those of us
who work in the court didn't know was whether she had a sense of
humor. The matter was put to rest the morning an older woman was
testifying before the judge. Several times during the proceedings
the woman addressed the judge as "Honey." Finally the judge looked
the woman in the eye and said, "That's Judge Honey."

- From Reader Digest

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a midwest town
he planned to visit on his vacation.

He wrote, "I would very much like to bring my dog with me.
He is well groomed and very well behaved. Would you be
willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said,
"I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all
that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes,
silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to
evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and