In prison, you get three square meals a day.

At home, you cook three square meals a day and try to get your
kids to eat it.

In prison, you get an hour each day in the yard to exercise and
mingle.

At home you get to clean the yard up so you can mow it so your
kids can spread more toys all over it so that you can go out
and clean it again because little Jr. can't sleep without his
latest lego creation.

In prison, you get to watch TV, cable even.

At home, you get to listen to your children fight over the remote

A worried Mrs. Melchnik sprang to the telephone
when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly
voice in her ear.

"How are you, darling?" it said. "What kind of a
day are you having?"

"Oh, mother," said the housewife, breaking into bitter
tears, "I've had such a bad day. The baby won't eat
and the washing machine broke down. I haven't had
a chance to go shopping, and besides, I've just
sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around. On
top of that, the house is a mess and I'm supposed to
have two couples to dinner tonight."