For many years I worked as a receptionist and switchboard operator at a
busy company. After a good annual review, my supervisor told me I was up
for a raise, pending approval of the vice president. A month later, my
supervisor called me into his office and told me the VP had refused to
approve the raise. His reason? I clearly wasn't doing my job. Every time
he saw me, I was either chatting with someone in the lobby or talking on
the phone

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and
told him to come into his office.

"What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked
the new guy.

"John," the new guy replied.

The manager scowled, "Look... I don't know what kind of a
mamby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone
by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a
breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last
name only... Smith, Jones, Baker... that's all. I am to be
referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that

Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and
put them in a room with only a table and two chairs. Leave
them alone for two hours, without any instruction. At the end
of that time, go back and see what they are doing.

If they have taken the table apart,
put them in Engineering.

If they are counting the butts in the ashtray,
assign them to Finance.

If they are waving their arms and talking out loud,
send them to Consulting.

If they are talking to the chairs,
Personnel is a good spot for them.