duct tape
Contrary to popular opinion, duct tape IS NOT good for fixing everything!
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Jeff walks into a bar and sees his friend Paul slumped over the bar. He walks over and asks Paul what's wrong.
"Well," replies Paul, "You know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I saw her?"
"Yes," replies Jeff with a laugh.
"Well," says Paul, straightening up, "I finally worked up the courage to ask her out, and she agreed."
"That's great!" says Jeff, "When are you going out?"