An old woman is in the bar of a cruise ship and she asks the bartender for a
scotch and two drops of water.

As the bartender gives her a drink she says, "It's my birthday today and
I'm on the cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday."

The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday I'll buy you a drink.
In fact I'll take care of this one for you."

As the woman finishes her drink a woman to her right says, "I guess I should
buy you a drink too."

The 80 year-old woman says, "Alright. Bartender I want a scotch and two drops
of water."

"Alright" says the bartender.

A bum, who obviously has seen more than his share of hard
times, approaches a well-dressed gentleman on the street.
"Hey, Buddy, can you spare two dollars?"

The well-dressed gentleman responds, "You are not going
to spend it on liquor are you?"

"No, sir, I don't drink," retorts the bum. "You are not
going to throw it away in some crap game, are you?" asks
the gentleman.

"No way, I don't gamble," answers the bum. "You wouldn't
waste the money at a golf course for greens fees, would
you?" asks the man.