Your cow insists on wearing a little A-1 sauce behind each ear as cologne.
She refuses to let you milk her, saying "Not on the first date."
Your cow takes up painting and wants to wear an earring.
Your cow gets a silicon implant for her udder.
Your cow appears on Oprah, claiming to be a horse trapped in a cow's body.
Your cow demands to be branded with the 'Golden Archs Logo'.
Your cow insists that all Hindus are sacred.
Your cow insists evaporated milk comes from thirsty cows.

Your cow quits the family dairy business and applies for a job at
Burger King.

A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was
crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and
explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth.

"Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would
have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out."

The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer.

"Here," he said, "is the check for $900. It's postdated six years from
now."