Once upon a time there was a prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the Prince could speak only one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, the following year he was allowed to speak two words.

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.

The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!"

The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"

The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.

"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.

She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave.

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.

The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"

To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family
ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in
financial trouble. To keep the bank from repossessing the
ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a
far town so they can breed their own stock.

They have only $600 left. Upon leaving, the brunette tells
her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull,
I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull,
and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at
a bar in a small town.
He's going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde
woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, "OK jerk, I've
heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. What makes
you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person's physical
attributes have to do with their worth as a human being? It's guys like
you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community,

A blonde finds herself in dire trouble.
Her business has gone bust and she's in serious financial
straits.
She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help.
She begins to pray...
"God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get
some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me
win the
lotto."

Lotto night comes, and somebody else wins it.
She again prays...
"God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my
house and I'm going to lose my car as well."
Lotto night comes and she still has no luck.

A man requested a female blonde painter to paint him in the nude.
"No" the talented blonde artist said. "I don"t do that sort of
thing.

"I"ll increase your fee two times," he said.

"No, no thanks!!"

"I"ll give five times as much as you normally get."

Okay, said the artist, "but you have to let me at least wear my
socks. I need somewhere to place my brushes."