A blonde teacher was giving a lesson on blood circulation... Trying
to make the matter clear, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my
head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn
red in the face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright the blood doesn't
run into my feet?"

The answer came from the back of the class, "Cause your feet ain't
empty."

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from
Los Angeles to New York. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a
fun game. The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, so she politely
declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer
persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you
pay me five dollars, and vice versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer,

A blonde holding a baby walks into a drug store
and asks the clerk if she can use the store's baby
scale.

"Sorry, ma'am," says the clerk. "Our baby scale
is broken. But we can figure the baby's weight if
we weigh mother and baby together on the adult
scale, and then weigh the mother alone, and
subtract the second number from the first."

"Oh, that won't work," says the blonde.

"Why not?" asks the clerk.

"Because," she answers, "I'm not the mother -
I'm the aunt."

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde walk into a bar. For the sake of
brevity, each one orders her drink with an abbreviated code word. The
brunette walks up to the bartender and says, "Hey give me an ML." The
bartender nods his head and hands her a Miller Lite.
Following her, the redhead walks up to the bartender and says, "I'd like
a BL." Giving her a nod, the bartender pulls up a Bud Lite.

Last, the blonde walks up to the bartender and says, "Give me a
Fifteen."

"A Fifteen?" the bartender replies, "What the hell is that?"

A Driver had just totaled her car in a horrific accident.
Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without
a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper
arrived. 'My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an
accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the lady chirped." Well, how in the
world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked
car. "Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the lady began. "I was

1. Water-proof towel

2. Solar powered flashlight

3. Submarine screen door

4. A book on how to read

5. Inflatable dart board

6. A dictionary index

7. Ejector seat on a helicopter

8. Powdered water

9. Pedal-powered wheel chair

10. Water-proof tea bag

The blonde had been married about a year when
one day the she came running up to her husband
jumping for joy. Not knowing how to react, the
husband started jumping up and down along with
her. "Why are we so happy?" he asked.
She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!"
"Great" he said, "tell me what you're so happy about."
She stopped breathless from all the jumping up
and down. "I'm pregnant!" she gasped.
The husband was ecstatic as they had been trying
for a while. He grabbed her, kissed her, and
started telling her how wonderful it was, and that

Why aren't blondes allowed to be pharmacist?
Because they keep breaking the prescription
bottles in the typewriter!

I just got this e-mail from my mom. I think she meant to send me a
blonde joke (she's very blonde). However, in her blondness, she put
the body of the e-mail into the subject line, and you can see below
where it was cut off...I'm still laughing out loud, because I think
this is funnier than any blonde joke I've seen. And no, I don't think
she did this on purpose. She's not very e-mail savvy, and she's done
this twice before with regular e-mails.

From: xxxxxxx
Sent: Tuesday, August 01, 2001 3:06 PM
To: xxxxxxx