An old woman is in the bar of a cruise ship and she asks the bartender for a
scotch and two drops of water.

As the bartender gives her a drink she says, "It's my birthday today and
I'm on the cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday."

The bartender says, "Well, since it's your birthday I'll buy you a drink.
In fact I'll take care of this one for you."

As the woman finishes her drink a woman to her right says, "I guess I should
buy you a drink too."

The 80 year-old woman says, "Alright. Bartender I want a scotch and two drops
of water."

"Alright" says the bartender.

A woman is in the bar of a cruise ship and
she asks the bartender for a scotch and two
drops of water. As the bartender gives her,
her drink she says "it's my birthday today
and I'm on the cruise to celebrate my 80th
birthday."

The bartender says, "Well, since it's your
birthday I'll buy you a drink in fact I'll
take care of this one for you."

As the women finishes her drink the woman to
her right says, "I guess I should buy you a
drink."

The old woman says, "All right. Bartender I
want a scotch and two drops of water."

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who
have the most live the longest. (Rev. Larry Lorenzoni)

Idealism: Happy Birthday.
Capitalism: I shopped all day for your birthday.
Atheism: I can't believe it's your birthday.
Hinduism: Holy Cow! Is it your birthday?
Taoism: It's everybody's birthday.
Buddhism: If your birthday party was held in the forest and nobody came...
would it make a sound?
Existentialism: Your birthday means nothing to me.
Sarcasm: You don't look half bad for someone twice your age.