A bear walked into a bar and sat down. He banged on the bar with his paw and demanded a beer.

The bartender approached and said, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings, Montana."

The bear, becoming angry, once again demanded a beer.

The bartender again told him, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings, Montana."

The bear, very angry now, said, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."

The bartender once again said, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings Montana."

In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear.
When you're a bear, you get to hibernate.
You do nothing but sleep for six months.
I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.
I could deal with that, too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size
of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute
cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business.
You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.
If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too.

If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but
sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid.
Then take a dump in the woods. I could deal with that, too.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business.
You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out
of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling.
He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

I wanna be a bear.