There is a new, specialized service called "Marriage Anonymous"

WOMEN:

When you feel like getting married, you call Marriage Anonymous and
they send over a man in a dirty T-shirt who hasn't shaved in three
days, smells like stale beer, and whines at you to make him a snack
while he lies on the couch, emits various bodily gases and their
accompanying noises, and watches football.

MEN:

When you feel like getting married, you call Marriage Anonymous and
they send you an overweight woman dressed in a sloppy bathrobe and